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A Survivor's Story: Kristen
Kristen
was living a life she had only dreamed about. She was happily married to a
man she loved very much. They lived in their dream house with two adorable
children.
After
thirteen years of marriage, her life swiftly turned a dark corner.
Kristen’s husband made a decision to try a vicious drug that grabbed a hold
of him and never let go. Kristen only could watch helplessly as her husband
descended into a world of drugs, lies and violence.
The low
point in her marriage came the following Christmas. Kristen had set aside
some money to buy presents for their children. Her husband disappeared for
three days using the money to buy drugs. He returned on Christmas Day
without presents for their children. As Kristen tells this story, she
struggles to describe the sadness and disappointment she experienced that
year which she says was the “worst Christmas of her life.”
Kristen
loved her husband very much but he refused the help offered by his family.
Desperate to protect her children, Kristen decided to leave her husband -
hoping this drastic measure would shock him into recovery.
Kristen’s plan backfired. Once her husband realized that she had left, the
threats started. Her husband told her if she did not return home, he would
kill her.
Fearing
for their safety, Kristen decided against staying with family or friends.
She arrived at The Julian Center Shelter with her two children ages 10 and
17. Her oldest son was a junior in high school. She worried about the
embarrassment her living arrangements could bring to her children. She
hoped and prayed her decisions would provide a bright future for her family.
Kristen’s husband continued to make threats until she obtained a protective
order barring her husband from all contact with her. During their divorce
hearing, Kristen represented herself.
Kristen
was accepted into The Julian Center’s New Life Transitional Housing Program
where she lived for two years. During their stay, her oldest son graduated
from high school and enrolled in college. Kristen and her children
participated in individual and group therapy. Their time in therapy helped
her family deal with the pain and confusion of their husband/father’s
actions.
Kristen
remained employed throughout her stay in transitional housing and saved for
a down payment on a home. She completed credit counseling and money
management classes. After two years in transitional housing, Kristen was
accepted into an informal housing program through a local church. She lived
in a home owned by the church for another year while she continued to save
money and participate in Julian Center services.
Three
years after Kristen arrived at The Julian Center, her dream of home
ownership was realized.
For
Kristen, The Julian Center was a place of comfort where she felt safe and
supported. Her family especially enjoyed the children’s programming. Her
children always had plenty of activities to participate in and flourished
from the attention provided by The Julian Center Staff.
Kristen
hopes by telling her story that people will understand that domestic
violence can happen in any family and unfortunately it often does touch
someone we know. Kristen’s family had a happy and prosperous life before
circumstances beyond her control changed the structure and direction of
their lives.
When
asked about her first Christmas in her new home, she smiles widely and says
it was wonderful. Now, Kristen’s home is a gathering place for family
during the holidays.
Donations from individuals like you, combined with the hard work of our
clients and the services of The Julian Center, have made a lasting impact on
the lives of others. This holiday season, our shelter is overflowing with
families just like Kristen’s who are dreaming of their chance to start
over. Together, we can help them flourish in all of their endeavors. Thank
you for supporting The Julian Center.
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